Catholic Comedians Gifts

8 Sins or Less

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

St. Elmo's fired.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Pope Benedict at Easter

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

Dangerous Populist Pope

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

"Sorry, I left my credit cards at home!"

'Maybe we need to clarify the scripture about making a joyful noise.'

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

Big Brother in Monastery.

'That was the longest infomercial I've ever seen.'

'I just found out that, instead of God, I've been talking to a temp!'

New rule: no tumble-drying!

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

Doomsayer angel with a sign: 'The end was near!'