Christian Comedians Gifts

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

St. Elmo's fired.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

How's my Sermon . . .

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'I appreciate you enthusiasm...but please stop doing the Wave.'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

Honk if you Love Jesus

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.