Christian Humorist Gifts

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I'm leaving you and the kids to join the Promise Keepers."

Fishy Bumper Sticker

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"You've only got twelve followers? You really need to look at your social networking optimisation!"

In their free time, the apostles often enjoyed rousing games of "Simon Peter Says".

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The ten ammendments

Sermon Applause.

"...and in conclusion..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"That's my boy!"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause