Christian Humor Gifts

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

"My uncle can turn a twenty-dollar bill into wine."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

The ten ammendments

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Church restrooms

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

"That's my boy!"

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

Eucharist

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Excommunicate Me.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"Can we discuss this?"

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Honk if you Love Jesus

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'