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"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

"My uncle can turn a twenty-dollar bill into wine."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

The ten ammendments

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

"That's my boy!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Excommunicate Me.

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Eucharist

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"Can we discuss this?"

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Honk if you Love Jesus

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'