Monastic Humor Lover Gifts

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

Shoo!

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"That's our new church mascot."

The ten ammendments

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

Pope Benedict at Easter

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Dangerous Populist Pope

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'That's St Joseph. He's the patron saint of baby aspirin.'

"I want to get away to it all."

"Ever worked out how much we have saved over the years by not having to buy trousers?"

Big Brother in Monastery.

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

"You've been randomly selected for additional screening."

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

New rule: no tumble-drying!

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

'Well, it looks like the pope is going to be there for a few more years!'

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'

Pope still on tight shedule.

Cricketing monks.

Monasteries dog with bone cross atop his kennel