Monastic Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Careful, it could be a trappist.'

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

The ten ammendments

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"In heaven there are no trees."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Pope Benedict at Easter

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

Dangerous Populist Pope

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"I want to get away to it all."

"Ever worked out how much we have saved over the years by not having to buy trousers?"

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

Big Brother in Monastery.

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

Monk to monk: 'Can you take over? I have to tinkle.'

New rule: no tumble-drying!

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

'You weren't always faithful so some of your prayers went to God's spam.'

"I see you're of good character."

'Well, it looks like the pope is going to be there for a few more years!'

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

"Apparently he's from a silent order."

Pea-headed Pope

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'