Monastic Humorist Pillows

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

'Be on your toes. They're checking for Y-1K compliance.'

"I've never heard of redundancies in a monastery before..."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

New rule: no tumble-drying!

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Sermon Applause.

The ten ammendments

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Holy Guacamole.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"'Host' and Cheese?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

'We were just testing our faith.'

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Missing Parsons.