Catholic Humorist Pillows

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

Dangerous Populist Pope

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

The Pope

Holy Guacamole.

"This is a beta test, right?"

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'