Mom Jokers Pillows

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Raised by Dogs

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

Dad Trophies

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

'Did you find any clothes?'

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

Possible Titles For My Upcoming Autobiography

'I'd like a puppy who's cute, playful, and can shoulder a lot of blame.'

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

'Pull over, it's a text-message from the baby, she needs to be changed!'

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

"Is our fish fresh? Sure it is! My dad is just delivering the latest catch..."

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

A man squashed by a giant leaf

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

He wants to know where he came from.