Parenting Jokers Pillows

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Trick or Tweet

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Dad Trophies

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie