Joking Parent Pillows

'Look on the bright side, we haven't lost a son, we've gained a parking place!'

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Dad Trophies

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"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Billy strip: help with homework.

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

Moma

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

'Did you find any clothes?'

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

"Fasten your seat belt."