Joking Parent Pillows

'Look on the bright side, we haven't lost a son, we've gained a parking place!'

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Dad Trophies

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"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

Billy strip: help with homework.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'