Parenting Jokester Pillows

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Here's a tenner son, go and bring yourself up.'

Stressed man puts baby dummy into computer to stop it crying.

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

"Day 1: Back in the carrier."

'Nope.'

One for my baby.

Drinks Dispenser Baby Dispenser.

"Alright son, I guess you're old enough to be given the fax of life."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'So; come up with any bright remarks lately?'

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'At first I wanted a brother... but I changed my mind. I want a puppy.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

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