Jokester In The Family Pillows

'Am I the eldest in my family? No, both my parents are older than me!'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"I've got writer's block."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Some card-game puns

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'