Family Jokesters Pillows

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'Put this in the window! One of our kids is coming up the walk with a suitcase!'

'If you call my allowance a grant, you claim it as a deduction on your income tax.'

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

MOTHER & TODDLER GROUP

"The truth is, he loves you...yeah...he loves to hate you!"

'Aw, c'mom, mom and dad...all the other kids are suing their parents.'

'This is the one I'm most proud of. It's for picking the right wine last Thanksgiving.'

'Just keep treading water, I'll be there in a hour or two, mother-in-law.'

'Your father and I never joined the union. Don't you make that same mistake.'

"I thought you packed the kids"

"What do you mean you forgot where you buried dad?!"

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

"I wish we lived in one of those later time zones."

"Remember son, there's no problem so big that it can't be run away from."

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

He wants to know where he came from.

'Look dear, he's got your tag.'

Raised by Dogs

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

'When you got me, did you have to pay shipping and handling?'

'Pull over, it's a text-message from the baby, she needs to be changed!'

'And this is uncle Wilbur, the family's black sheep!'('Wanted' poster in portrait gallery).

"She never obeys me. Maybe her voice command is turned off."

'Don't play the fool with me, Son.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."