Parenting Jokester Gifts

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Here's a tenner son, go and bring yourself up.'

Stressed man puts baby dummy into computer to stop it crying.

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

"Day 1: Back in the carrier."

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

Yeah, I'm living with my parents while I go to college - They moved into my dorm room.

'Nope.'

One for my baby.

Drinks Dispenser Baby Dispenser.

"Alright son, I guess you're old enough to be given the fax of life."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'So; come up with any bright remarks lately?'

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'At first I wanted a brother... but I changed my mind. I want a puppy.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'