Parenting Jokes Gifts

'This is a worry. No dipstick to measure how much milk is left.'

"From now on, just pillage."

"Fasten your seat belt."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Dad Trophies

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'What are you in for?'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

Playing in the park....child on a leash.