Parenting Joke Lover Gifts

'Actually, Mommy married Daddy because he ran unopposed.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Poky Little Pupa.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I need to know who started it."

Trick or Tweet

Dad Trophies

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Use your inside scream."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Mom dwarves.

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Chilly baby.

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'