Parenting Joke Lover Prints

'Actually, Mommy married Daddy because he ran unopposed.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I need to know who started it."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Trick or Tweet

Dad Trophies

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Use your inside scream."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Chilly baby.

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

Billy strip: help with homework.