Parenting Jokes Fan Prints

'These aren't my breasts... No, but can we keep them?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I need to know who started it."

'Son, sometimes I think you don't know your head from your tail. Come to think of it, it is tough.'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Use your inside scream."

"Time for bed, guys."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"She's a natural!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Chilly baby.

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'