Light-hearted Parenting Jokes Prints

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"She's a natural!"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

"Fasten your seat belt."