Parental Joker Pillows

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Dad Trophies

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"