Parental Joker Gifts

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Dad Trophies

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'