Joker In The Family Gifts

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'