Joker In The Family Gifts

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Get crazy once in a while

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

'He looks exactly like his father!'