Genealogy Joker Gifts

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

"And these are my ancestors, Sir Cecil the Chicken-Hearted and Sir Stanley the Stinky...we don't talk about them a lot!"

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

One of Many California Gene Pools

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

Hallowe'en wake up call

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'