Genealogy Jokers Gifts

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Raised by Dogs

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

Richard the Turd

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

"Oh that's just great! You remembered how to make fire. I'm so impressed!"

'I'd like a puppy who's cute, playful, and can shoulder a lot of blame.'

'Pull over, it's a text-message from the baby, she needs to be changed!'

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

"From now on, take the human genome outside before you unravel it"

He wants to know where he came from.

I don't like the look of that fish! Can I help it if it had ugly parents?

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

'I don't like the look of this fish.' 'It had ugly parents.'

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"Is our fish fresh? Sure it is! My dad is just delivering the latest catch..."