Genealogical Joker Gifts

'The court sentences you to be removed from the gene pool.'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

One of Many California Gene Pools

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"He takes after your mother"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'