Inheritance Joker Gifts

'You'd better treat me with more respect, or I'll cut you out of my will!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Note Book

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Contest of wills.

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

One of Many California Gene Pools

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

"See how it feels"

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I told Dad you painted his car!'