Inheritance Joker Gifts

'You'd better treat me with more respect, or I'll cut you out of my will!'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

Note Book

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Contest of wills.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

One of Many California Gene Pools

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

"See how it feels"

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'