Inheritance Junkie Gifts

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

'So that's his secret.'

"Let's take in a trial."

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

Upholding the Law

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"I'm from the Noble Prize committee. You're on to something big, but it's been done."

Elon Musk upset that 'X'is still referred to as 'Twitteer'.