Inheritance Hunter Gifts

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

'I'll read the will.' - 'I don't like the look of this.'

She's leaving me all her money.'

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

"One day soon all this will be yours!"

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'