Inheritance Inquirer Gifts

"Your next of kin is going to inherit a lot of money."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'