Inheritance Ponderer Gifts

"Darling, who shall we leave our debts to?"

"I don't want to leave anyone or anything a goddamn cent!"

'One day son, all this will not be yours.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'...and to Mr. Meek, I leave the earth.'

"Dad, if the ads say you never really own this expensive watch, how will I ever be able to hock it?"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'