Probate Ponderer Gifts

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Retirement Issues

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"You've got termites."

The End is Near.