Protocol Ponderer Gifts

"...Now all we need is a product!"

'.....DOOR!'

"There's no way I'm letting them call me Princess Henry or Princess Harry!!"

Australian Prime minister greets the Queen: 'Don't worry if she doesn't curtsey, but do get worried if she tries to kiss you.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

'I say we try it.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

"Woah - random!"

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

The End is Near.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.