Patent Ponderer Gifts

"In order to file for a plant patient, you need to describe what sets your beanstalk apart from other beanstalks. Besides the giant."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Progress?

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Robot Attack in Bath

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

CREEPY AF AI

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'