Tech Ponderer Gifts

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

CREEPY AF AI

"Internet's down."

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

Progress?

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

After the summer holidays

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

Robot Attack in Bath

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Air Pollution Threat

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

What's 'Bitcoin'?

'We could use more moving and shaking from you, Yomp, and less bobbing and weaving.'

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

"I want my job back."

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

"My brother sent me a text which is pretty amazing because he hates technology and he's dead."

'Are you tweeting about this?'

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

Replaced by a Robot...