Modern Tech Ponderer Gifts

'Once I get my DSL, I'm going to do this all online.'

'How do I watch telly on this?'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Idle parts

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Progress?

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

After the summer holidays

Truth

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

CREEPY AF AI

What's 'Bitcoin'?

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

"My brother sent me a text which is pretty amazing because he hates technology and he's dead."

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"I want my job back."

'Are you tweeting about this?'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"Remember when we used to flock together, instead of just tweeting all day on line?"

Etch-A-Sketch VS. IPad

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"Have you noticed that people look smaller on the telly...?"

Officer Worker Evolution

If a cell phone vibrates in the woods, does anyone give a damn?

"Isn't this outdated because there are script fonts now?"