Genealogy Joker Pillows

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

"And these are my ancestors, Sir Cecil the Chicken-Hearted and Sir Stanley the Stinky...we don't talk about them a lot!"

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'Mom says she has a souffl

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

One of Many California Gene Pools

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."