Modern Luddite Gifts

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Elfie Stick

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Pensioners and Phones

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

Who is the fairest of them all?

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

'Santa Claus really does exist! I just found his website.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

Jack and the Bean Counter

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

The Grim Reaper with a lawn mower