Laughing Luddite Gifts

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Pensioners and Phones

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"You don't need your selfie stick...the booth takes selfies for you!"

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

'Who's there?'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Diarrhoea Discussion Class: Runs Until Friday

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society