Fun-loving Luddite Gifts

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"I told you you'd ruin your appetite if you filled up on candy!"

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Falling Rock Zone

Pensioners and Phones

Sugar Rush!

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I've gone for a retro phone."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

'Free! Bonus! X-Ray Glasses!'

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"I'm a trained professional, kids, don't try this at home!"

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

Wine Shotput

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"Will you want a bag to take that home with you?"

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

'I can still remember the good old days when I used to go through your pockets!'

Hair Replacement.

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."