Fun-loving Luddite Gifts

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Pensioners and Phones

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"I told you you'd ruin your appetite if you filled up on candy!"

Falling Rock Zone

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"I've gone for a retro phone."

Sugar Rush!

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

'Free! Bonus! X-Ray Glasses!'

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"I'm a trained professional, kids, don't try this at home!"

Ladies, git porked by a ELVIS impersonator!

Hair Replacement.

Wine Shotput

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"Will you want a bag to take that home with you?"

'I can still remember the good old days when I used to go through your pockets!'

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

Petty thieves.