Modern Luddites Gifts

"You put a 'do not disturb' sign on your phone? Putting it on silent may be a little more practical."

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"I can't wait to post this."

Pensioners and Phones

G.K. Chesterton.

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

Shellfie

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

Self-serve island

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Man begs with sign saying: 'Please help - Portable advertising fine to pay.'

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."