Luddite Spirit Gifts

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"I think I'm really getting the hang of this lucid dreaming thing."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

Pensioners and Phones

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"You don't need your selfie stick...the booth takes selfies for you!"

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

'Noway I could become sedentary: I like roaming the plains too much...'

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

"That's a nice touch!"

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."

Telephone being thrown from a window in frustration

'Electronic correspondence is hurting our business. You can read more about this in the e-mail I'll be sending out tomorrow.'

"You put a 'do not disturb' sign on your phone? Putting it on silent may be a little more practical."

Going wireless

"Those windows are in good shape, dad. I was speaking about updating your other Windows."