Mischievous Sportsman Gifts

The incapacity benefits people want you to give them a ring...'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

Skier.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Pants Uglifier!

Discus accidents.

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

Children playing in a library

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'We were mud wrestling.'

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

What's wrong with the TV? IT keeps changing to the cartoons! (son sitting behind mom with the remote control).

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

"What have you done with her this time?"