Quirky Sportsman Gifts

Discus accidents.

The Cricketer and the Golfer

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Alternative fielding positions

Snooker Golf.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

The Unsportables: Relay

Monster Baseball

Footballer and Bacteria.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

The emerging and exhilarating sport of Ice Golf.

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Deregulated Baseball

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

Skier.

'McWit never could build anything level.'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Let go of the pole!'

Curling Rocks!

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."