Quirky Athlete Gifts

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

Baseball signs.

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

'Last lap, Jimmy! Dig deep! Make your move! And please stop running like that!'

Using a javelin to remove a tooth.

Mountaintop Golf

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

Cricketer catching a ball with his hat.

A man running on top of water

The secret world of Polevaulters.

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

'He's stopped to clean the bugs off his glasses.'

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'

Bobsleigh practice.

Britain to host 2004 Olympics

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

Unwarrantedball

Yoga for Alcoholics

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Snooker Golf.

Alternative fielding positions

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

Skier.

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.