Mischievous Humorist Gifts

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Misery lit...

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

Killing Santa

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

Law Books

Children playing in a library

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

What's wrong with the TV? IT keeps changing to the cartoons! (son sitting behind mom with the remote control).

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

"What have you done with her this time?"