Mischievous Moments Gifts

"Look. Jerome. Unless you want me to crap on the bed I'd suggest you practice your sand wedge outside."

'Maybe she has allergies.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Meowlzebub

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

A pony throws its rider.

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

Monkey Business

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Children playing in a library

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

Pandora's cat.

'Cut it out!'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

Watch for Children.

HisssssHerssss....

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."