Mischievous Moments Pillows

"Look. Jerome. Unless you want me to crap on the bed I'd suggest you practice your sand wedge outside."

'Maybe she has allergies.'

Meowlzebub

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

A pony throws its rider.

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Children playing in a library

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

Watch for Children.

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

HisssssHerssss....

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

'You'll pay for this.'

Cat burglar.