Mischievous Medic Gifts

"I'm just messing with you."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Meowlzebub

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

Killing Santa

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"It's cooties."

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

Pandora's cat.

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'Cut it out!'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."